Attachment-Seeking - Reframing How We View Negative Behavior | Pedro's Judo Center
Fill Out This Form, Get 4 Lessons and a Uniform for $30

Secure your spot and get started today with our EXCLUSIVE offer! *Not valid on Parent & Toddler Program*

By opting into the web form above you are providing consent for Pedro's Judo Center to send you periodic text messages. Standard rates may apply. You can reply HELP at anytime or learn more. You may opt-out anytime by replying STOP.
Fill Out This Form, Get 4 Lessons and a Uniform for $30

Secure your spot and get started today with our EXCLUSIVE offer! *Not valid on Parent & Toddler Program*

By opting into the web form above you are providing consent for Pedro's Judo Center to send you periodic text messages. Standard rates may apply. You can reply HELP at anytime or learn more. You may opt-out anytime by replying STOP.
Matt K

Great atmosphere for both adults and children. My son is always excited for his next judo class and enjoys attending the studio and participating in class.

Kamal K

Great place for kids self-esteem and physical strength. Kids practice is full of fun and challenges. The class is very disciplined. Non-stop for the full duration of the class.

Katie M reviewed Pedro's Judo Center
5
via Facebook

My daughter has been doing judo here since she was four years old. Pedro's fosters a sense of confidence, respect and community in their students. We are so happy with them!

Joshua R reviewed Pedro's Judo Center
5
via Facebook

I would absolutely recommend Pedro's Judo Center to anyone that wants a positive, self-empowering experience for their own child.

Daniel L reviewed Pedro's Judo Center
5
via Facebook

Pedro's Judo Center not only teaches their students Judo & help them build confidence & a strong body. They also teach them about discipline & respect, inside & outside of the Dojo.

We are so glad we found this school for our two sons. Their instructors are great & the program is phenomenal.

Marissa F reviewed Pedro's Judo Center
5
via Facebook

Sansei Casey is patient, consistent and encouraging. Both of my boys have enjoyed their first 8 weeks. It literally took their goal sticker chart to encourage my 2 yr old to become potty trained. My oldest is now more independent and helpful around the kitchen. We can’t wait to continue seeing them grow in Judo.

Suzana Stojakovic Forkapic reviewed Pedro's Judo Center
5
via Facebook

Our son Nikola has officially been at this Dojo for one full year now and is thriving in this environment. Sensei Riley is there to teach Judo and much more with goal setting, a constant reminder of respect, kindness, and overall doing the right thing each day. He is in tune with each child speaking and instructing them with discipline and respect. I just love this place and look forward to each class and my son's development overall.

Mimi Lemay reviewed Pedro's Judo Center
5
via Facebook

Pedro's is a remarkable place. I knew that the martial arts, if practiced right, could instill confidence and positivity in my kids, and Pedro's and Sensei Riley have not disappointed. I have three kids at Pedro's: Ages, 9, 8 and 6 and all three have enjoyed the experience, learned a lot and improved in strength, coordination and their belief in what they can accomplish! The classes are run well and on time, and there are plenty of chances for the kids to work toward promotion and participate in tournaments. We are glad we chose Pedro's Judo!

Beth Williams reviewed Pedro's Judo Center
5
via Facebook

Jacob has just finished his third year of training at Pedro's. We could not be happier with his progress. We started down this path hoping for better school and home behavior, a little more focus and lot more patience and discipline. In three years the change has been remarkable! Our rambunctious, full of energy little boy has grown up- learned how to respect teachers, staff, parents and so much more- while still keeping his silly, charming personality. Sensei Riley is kind, understanding, beyond patient and a true cheerleader! We are so grateful to all the staff for being on this ride with us!

Leah Kunz Sullo reviewed Pedro's Judo Center
5
via Facebook

I would absolutely recommend Pedro's Judo Center, we have had such a great experience and look forward to many more years of fun. This has been a great way for my four year old son to improve so many areas like focus and self-control all while being physically active and having fun.

I think my favorite part of this program is that they make this so much more than the classes that you attend at the dojo each week. They make such an effort to involve the entire family, we love the in house tournaments, promotion nights, kids movie nights, and much more. The other mom's and I even got to join in the class with them this morning in honor of Mother's Day for a pink belt, I'm not sure which one of us had more fun!

Sharon O'Brien reviewed Pedro's Judo Center
5
via Facebook

Both my son and daughter have been doing Judo at Pedro’s for just over a year and I would highly recommend their program. Not only do they focus on physical fitness but also building confidence in the kids. My son thrives on the physical challenges of Judo and is always excited and proud of himself when he masters a new technique. He often comes off the mat after class and asks me if he can stay for the next class!! My daughter is 6 years old and has hearing loss and I enrolled her at Pedro’s with the hope of boosting her self confidence. I couldn’t be happier with the progress she’s made (both on and off the mat!) over the last year at Pedro’s. The Sensei’s are firm but kind and really bring out the best in the kids. I was so proud to see my daughter raise her hand fearlessly and ask the police officer a question during a recent visit from WPD at the Dojo!! Thank you everyone at Pedro’s!!!

Michelle Bradbury Wilkins reviewed Pedro's Judo Center
5
via Facebook

My 3year old and 4year old love it. I love their ability to focus and to listen more. Great place for kids!

Maria Koutny reviewed Pedro's Judo Center
5
via Facebook

Went for a child birthday party and my daughter had a blast! Good people

Anthony Hewitt reviewed Pedro's Judo Center
5
via Facebook

Great training with great people! Thanks for the hospitality everyone!

Amy Mirasolo reviewed Pedro's Judo Center
5
via Facebook

Pedro's is an amazing place for kids to grow and learn. It is not just about athleticism and strength in the dojo, but they build character, confidence and discipline. These men and women are exceptional role models and have helped shape our son to an amazing young man. The expectations/behaviors go far beyond the walls of Pedro's and we couldn't be happier with our experience!

Don Werner reviewed Pedro's Judo Center
5
via Facebook

My grandaughter has gone from very shy to much more outgoing and confident. Very knowledgeable caring staff that get results. Thank you

Stephan Kelly O'Sullivan reviewed Pedro's Judo Center
5
via Facebook

We have been members at Pedro's Judo Center for 9 years and I cannot emphasize more how beneficial the training for my daughters has been. My eldest was the first to start and within several months I was amazed at the level of change in her confidence. The effect was both personal and athletic. I decided to enroll my younger daughter and the effect was even quicker. From the ceiling of the Judo Center hang 4 signs. The signs are emblazoned with the words CONFIDENCE, FOCUS, RESPECT and DISCIPLINE. The instructors at Pedro's do a great job of stressing these values to their students. If you admire these values as much as I do, you should bring your children to Pedro's Judo. My elder daughter emphasized to me the old saying that, "The family that plays together...stays together." so I enrolled myself. The decision to enroll my family at Pedro's Judo is one of the best i've ever made!

Derek Tc Richardson reviewed Pedro's Judo Center
5
via Facebook

Technical tough competitors. Lots of experience on this mat. If you want to get in shape and learn from the best, this is the place.

Mary Jane Sullivan reviewed Pedro's Judo Center
5
via Facebook

What a fun place for a birthday party for kids. Very clean with a separate space for food and cake. Ms. Allie kept all the kids engaged with fun games and music. Most certainly they slept well that night. Clean bathrooms and comfortably cool.
I would give them 5 stars!

Request Information
Call us today!
Wakefield, MA Judo & Martial Arts
Request Information

Blog

Our latest news & thoughts

Attachment-Seeking – Reframing How We View Negative Behavior

from our friends at skillz.com

If the pandemic has taught us anything, it has taught us to slow down and appreciate the moments we have with our loved ones. On the flip side, it has also caused some additional stressors for parents as they have had to play the role of teacher while also fulfilling their work demands. And as we knew before the pandemic, children will do just about anything to get attention. And since secondary attachments to teachers and coaches have become limited, children are looking to their parents to fill their attachment needs. As Rudolf Dreikus said, “Children need attention like a plant needs sun and water.” So, when did we conclude that wanting attention is a bad thing?

Parents are busy with a varying number of essential things, and “attention-seeking” behaviors seem to always come at the wrong time. The problem is that the need for attention is a need for attachment, which is a biological need for survival, according to the attachment theory. When children don’t get quality connection time with their parents, they are more likely to act out. Unfortunately, these behaviors trigger parents to punish their child, which gives them the attention they are seeking, whether ideal or not. And although parents don’t intentionally want to reinforce their child’s negative attention-seeking behaviors, their response does just that.

A better approach to this is to reframe how we see these types of behaviors. When parents understand the acting out actions are because their children are seeking a connection, parents are then more likely to change their approach. By scheduling in time each day to connect with their child, parents can lessen the negative attention-seeking behaviors. Additionally, catching children being good and praising them with positive attention will help keep their “attention tanks” full and reinforce positive behaviors. Too often, parents take good behavior for granted and come to expect it but highlighting children’s efforts is essential for these to continue.

The Pedro’s Judo Center curriculum was created to help inspire parents to rethink their approach to parenting. Within the program, parents learn and practice each skill to take their parenting to the next level. Each of the eight skills requires only 10 minutes a day to implement but has a long-lasting impact on the parent-child bond. The instructors in the Pedro’s Judo classes also implement these skills to support critical secondary attachments. The simple yet effective strategies create relationships that give children a sense of security and help the development of their emotional self-regulation skills.

When we focus on positive things, we see more of those things. In parenting, the goal is to make positive reinforcement as natural as possible. When we understand that “attention-seeking” behaviors are simply a child’s way of wanting a relationship, we become more mindful of our responses. As Dr. Jody Carrington said, “Every time you think of calling a kid, ‘attention-seeking’ this year, consider changing it to ‘connection-seeking’ and see how your perspective changes.”