Punishment vs Discipline | Pedro's Judo Center
Fill Out This Form, Get 4 Lessons and a Uniform for $30

Secure your spot and get started today with our EXCLUSIVE offer! *Not valid on Parent & Toddler Program*

By opting into the web form above you are providing consent for Pedro's Judo Center to send you periodic text messages. Standard rates may apply. You can reply HELP at anytime or learn more. You may opt-out anytime by replying STOP.
Fill Out This Form, Get 4 Lessons and a Uniform for $30

Secure your spot and get started today with our EXCLUSIVE offer! *Not valid on Parent & Toddler Program*

By opting into the web form above you are providing consent for Pedro's Judo Center to send you periodic text messages. Standard rates may apply. You can reply HELP at anytime or learn more. You may opt-out anytime by replying STOP.
Matt K

Great atmosphere for both adults and children. My son is always excited for his next judo class and enjoys attending the studio and participating in class.

Kamal K

Great place for kids self-esteem and physical strength. Kids practice is full of fun and challenges. The class is very disciplined. Non-stop for the full duration of the class.

Katie M reviewed Pedro's Judo Center
5
via Facebook

My daughter has been doing judo here since she was four years old. Pedro's fosters a sense of confidence, respect and community in their students. We are so happy with them!

Joshua R reviewed Pedro's Judo Center
5
via Facebook

I would absolutely recommend Pedro's Judo Center to anyone that wants a positive, self-empowering experience for their own child.

Daniel L reviewed Pedro's Judo Center
5
via Facebook

Pedro's Judo Center not only teaches their students Judo & help them build confidence & a strong body. They also teach them about discipline & respect, inside & outside of the Dojo.

We are so glad we found this school for our two sons. Their instructors are great & the program is phenomenal.

Marissa F reviewed Pedro's Judo Center
5
via Facebook

Sansei Casey is patient, consistent and encouraging. Both of my boys have enjoyed their first 8 weeks. It literally took their goal sticker chart to encourage my 2 yr old to become potty trained. My oldest is now more independent and helpful around the kitchen. We can’t wait to continue seeing them grow in Judo.

Suzana Stojakovic Forkapic reviewed Pedro's Judo Center
5
via Facebook

Our son Nikola has officially been at this Dojo for one full year now and is thriving in this environment. Sensei Riley is there to teach Judo and much more with goal setting, a constant reminder of respect, kindness, and overall doing the right thing each day. He is in tune with each child speaking and instructing them with discipline and respect. I just love this place and look forward to each class and my son's development overall.

Mimi Lemay reviewed Pedro's Judo Center
5
via Facebook

Pedro's is a remarkable place. I knew that the martial arts, if practiced right, could instill confidence and positivity in my kids, and Pedro's and Sensei Riley have not disappointed. I have three kids at Pedro's: Ages, 9, 8 and 6 and all three have enjoyed the experience, learned a lot and improved in strength, coordination and their belief in what they can accomplish! The classes are run well and on time, and there are plenty of chances for the kids to work toward promotion and participate in tournaments. We are glad we chose Pedro's Judo!

Beth Williams reviewed Pedro's Judo Center
5
via Facebook

Jacob has just finished his third year of training at Pedro's. We could not be happier with his progress. We started down this path hoping for better school and home behavior, a little more focus and lot more patience and discipline. In three years the change has been remarkable! Our rambunctious, full of energy little boy has grown up- learned how to respect teachers, staff, parents and so much more- while still keeping his silly, charming personality. Sensei Riley is kind, understanding, beyond patient and a true cheerleader! We are so grateful to all the staff for being on this ride with us!

Leah Kunz Sullo reviewed Pedro's Judo Center
5
via Facebook

I would absolutely recommend Pedro's Judo Center, we have had such a great experience and look forward to many more years of fun. This has been a great way for my four year old son to improve so many areas like focus and self-control all while being physically active and having fun.

I think my favorite part of this program is that they make this so much more than the classes that you attend at the dojo each week. They make such an effort to involve the entire family, we love the in house tournaments, promotion nights, kids movie nights, and much more. The other mom's and I even got to join in the class with them this morning in honor of Mother's Day for a pink belt, I'm not sure which one of us had more fun!

Sharon O'Brien reviewed Pedro's Judo Center
5
via Facebook

Both my son and daughter have been doing Judo at Pedro’s for just over a year and I would highly recommend their program. Not only do they focus on physical fitness but also building confidence in the kids. My son thrives on the physical challenges of Judo and is always excited and proud of himself when he masters a new technique. He often comes off the mat after class and asks me if he can stay for the next class!! My daughter is 6 years old and has hearing loss and I enrolled her at Pedro’s with the hope of boosting her self confidence. I couldn’t be happier with the progress she’s made (both on and off the mat!) over the last year at Pedro’s. The Sensei’s are firm but kind and really bring out the best in the kids. I was so proud to see my daughter raise her hand fearlessly and ask the police officer a question during a recent visit from WPD at the Dojo!! Thank you everyone at Pedro’s!!!

Michelle Bradbury Wilkins reviewed Pedro's Judo Center
5
via Facebook

My 3year old and 4year old love it. I love their ability to focus and to listen more. Great place for kids!

Maria Koutny reviewed Pedro's Judo Center
5
via Facebook

Went for a child birthday party and my daughter had a blast! Good people

Anthony Hewitt reviewed Pedro's Judo Center
5
via Facebook

Great training with great people! Thanks for the hospitality everyone!

Amy Mirasolo reviewed Pedro's Judo Center
5
via Facebook

Pedro's is an amazing place for kids to grow and learn. It is not just about athleticism and strength in the dojo, but they build character, confidence and discipline. These men and women are exceptional role models and have helped shape our son to an amazing young man. The expectations/behaviors go far beyond the walls of Pedro's and we couldn't be happier with our experience!

Don Werner reviewed Pedro's Judo Center
5
via Facebook

My grandaughter has gone from very shy to much more outgoing and confident. Very knowledgeable caring staff that get results. Thank you

Stephan Kelly O'Sullivan reviewed Pedro's Judo Center
5
via Facebook

We have been members at Pedro's Judo Center for 9 years and I cannot emphasize more how beneficial the training for my daughters has been. My eldest was the first to start and within several months I was amazed at the level of change in her confidence. The effect was both personal and athletic. I decided to enroll my younger daughter and the effect was even quicker. From the ceiling of the Judo Center hang 4 signs. The signs are emblazoned with the words CONFIDENCE, FOCUS, RESPECT and DISCIPLINE. The instructors at Pedro's do a great job of stressing these values to their students. If you admire these values as much as I do, you should bring your children to Pedro's Judo. My elder daughter emphasized to me the old saying that, "The family that plays together...stays together." so I enrolled myself. The decision to enroll my family at Pedro's Judo is one of the best i've ever made!

Derek Tc Richardson reviewed Pedro's Judo Center
5
via Facebook

Technical tough competitors. Lots of experience on this mat. If you want to get in shape and learn from the best, this is the place.

Mary Jane Sullivan reviewed Pedro's Judo Center
5
via Facebook

What a fun place for a birthday party for kids. Very clean with a separate space for food and cake. Ms. Allie kept all the kids engaged with fun games and music. Most certainly they slept well that night. Clean bathrooms and comfortably cool.
I would give them 5 stars!

Request Information
Call us today!
Wakefield, MA Judo & Martial Arts
Request Information

Blog

Our latest news & thoughts

Punishment vs Discipline

from our friends over at SKILLZ.COM

Good behavior is a learning process for children, and we are their roadmap. Children usually behave per their own emotions and impulses. At the same time, being a parent is also a learning process and sometimes we rely on our own emotions and impulses to teach. Usually, that means we divert directly to punishments when a child misbehaves, missing a crucial opportunity to teach them. With that said, I am going to break down how to teach good behavior through discipline vs. punishment.

Let’s compare the two words and what they really mean:

  • Punishment – means to inflict pain or suffering as a penalty.
  • Discipline – means to teach.

It’s understandable that we as parents can get very frustrated when a child misbehaves, specifically when they make the same poor behavior choices over and over. At the same time, if we have clear goals to teach good behavior skills, then we can respond better. The better we respond, the better the results.

What are our goals for our children when they misbehave?

  • Our first goal is to get them to cooperate. This is primarily short-term.
  • The second goal that we don’t always consider is more long-term, and that is to make better choices without the threat of punishment or consequences.
  • To accomplish this, we need to consider both as often as possible. To accomplish this requires that you are patient, present, and intentional.

Now, let’s look at how punishment and discipline compare when accomplishing our goal of developing good behavior skills…

Punishment vs. Discipline:

  • Punishment may shut down a behavior, but if you teach your child, then they will develop self-discipline skills such as managing emotions and impulses.
  • When you discipline, you maintain a high relationship of trust and self-confidence.
  • When you punish, you build a proverbial wall and decrease one’s trust self-confidence.

With that said, it makes sense to have a strategy for disciplining a child when they misbehave…

3-steps of discipline:

  1. CONNECT – this doesn’t mean to be permissible or passive, but to ensure that as you begin to set clear expectations, your child calms down emotionally and feels your loving/ caring approach. When a child is upset, they are less likely to hear what you are saying. You must be patient so that you remain as calm as possible during the process, which is the hardest but most stress-free way to discipline.
  2. RE-DIRECT – list out what the poor behavior choice was as well as what the proper behavior choice is, see my podcast Episode 12: ‘Making Choices’ for more information. This requires you to be present so that you can clearly calculate the desired outcome.
  3. REPAIR – discuss necessary steps on how to solve the current behavior problem, review better choices, and set ground rules should the poor behavior choices continue. This requires you to be intentional in your actions so that your long-term goals start to take shape.

Of course, this strategy won’t work all the time, so it’s also important to have a backup strategy. For starters, it’s better to say ‘consequences’ instead of ‘punishments’ so that your intentions are more goal-oriented versus pain-oriented.

When are consequences ok?

  • Only after you’ve you have worked through the 3 steps of discipline and still, your child intentionally disobeys the ground rules.

What type of consequences is ok?

  • One that matches the behavior. For example: if the child throws her iPad in an impulsive rage, then taking away her iPad for 48 hours is considered a reasonable consequence. (A week is a long period and could potentially trigger more anger and rage. The goal is to teach her, but also empower her to self-correct her behavior in the future. The smaller time frame will teach her that throwing things is not acceptable, but at the same time, you trust that she will re-correct this behavior within the next few days.)

What type of consequences are not ok?

  • One that is retroactive. For example: taking away good things isn’t the best consequence, such as karate lessons, which positively reinforces self-discipline. Although parents may think this is a good move because it’s an activity they like a lot and the pain of losing karate will teach them a valuable lesson, it’s doing the opposite. Pain infliction based on taking away something they like may cause more misbehavior and instill long-term damage in their trust for you. Also, strongly consider the fact that they lose all the positive benefits karate reinforces such as discipline, confidence, fitness, positive social interaction, and more.
  • One that decreases morale. For example: taking away a student’s belt will shame the child, which decreases self-esteem. Public humiliation will leave a permanent footprint in the child’s brain, specifically a negative one. For every negative footprint left, self-esteem and morale decrease. The more children lack self-confidence and moral, the lesser chance you have of them believing in themselves to make proper behavior choices.

So, what do you do if you have a child that is misbehaving all the time with bits of rage, back-talking, and defying the rules?

  • You map out a productive strategy that includes a method for building proper behavior habits along with pre-determined consequences. For example: if you hit someone, then you must write a letter to the person you hit (or if you are younger, you must apologize face to face with a specific pre-framed apology).
  • If you throw something, then you lose a personal item for 48 hours.
  • If you show poor manners, then you must re-enact the proper manner if you are younger, or write a letter about having better manners. All of this should be pre-framed.
  • If you wake up late for school because you stayed up late the night before, then you must go to bed an hour earlier for the next two days.
  • At the same time, if you want consequences to work then you also need rewards. Reward your child when she goes a week without misbehaving. (This time frame may be shorter or longer depending on the child.) Also, the best rewards are not material things, but more relationship-building rewards. For example: she can pick to go to a family movie or a special place for a family dinner.
  • My suggestion is to make a list of rewards and consequences so that you are prepared.

Now, what if you’ve tried this strategy and it doesn’t work?

  • For starters, be sure to give it time. If you are struggling with your child, then you must be reasonable on how long it will take to develop better behavior choices. It won’t happen overnight, and at the same time, she may get better and then fall off track again.
  • However, if you’ve tried these strategies for a solid month with no success, then the next step is to bring in an expert. Chances are there are some neurological deficiencies there that are interfering with her development.

Bottom line, the three biggest takeaways from this are:

  • Discipline is the better, more positively-productive method for instilling long-term behavior skills.
  • Connect, re-direct, and repair is the 3-step method for developing self-discipline skills.
  • When necessary, consequences are more productive than punishments. Avoid consequences that are retroactive or ones that decrease morale. Be sure to add rewards as well.

We hope this article sheds some positive light on how to help your child make better behavior choices!